Why I May Be a Narcissist

I struggled with the idea of creating a blog primarily due to a single burning question: Why the hell would people want to read my writing? What makes me an authority on, well, anything? Why should my thoughts be heard, spread, or reflected on?

And then I started thinking about social media. I considered the inherent narcissism in posting a picture of my face, and expecting people to ‘like’ it.

I was called back however to Joan Didion’s essay On Keeping a Notebook. Didion describes keeping a notebook, essentially a daily diary, which allowed her to reflect years later on the person she was. Captured with each stroke of her (presumably used) pen was the person that she used to be and the feelings she felt at that time.

There’s a similar reason why I have an Instagram, and why I don’t delete my posts. I love being able to look back upon my old self, with a literal visualization of my growth over time as a person. Through my old political memes and even my selfies, I’m able to reflect on how far I’ve come.

I feel with a blog I can do the same. This writing isn’t perfect. My beliefs are probably very flawed. But being able to look back upon this, my views written in long form instead of captured with a meme, is my own notebook.

Is it narcissistic to expect people to read and like what happens here? Probably. I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t partially my motive – I could keep this private after all. I would like though to think though that maybe I’m not completely self-absorbed, and that it’s the desire to see and fuel my growth that motivates me to type these words. You be the judge.

3 Replies to “Why I May Be a Narcissist”

  1. Love this, and especially relate to the part you said about wanting to start a blog to see your growth. I have been making monthly playlists on Spotify since I was 16 and it’s interesting looking back and seeing how my music taste has changed.

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